


A Bat in a Pumpkin Field

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale, Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-05-15
Packaged: 2017-12-11 22:59:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/804208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She had been in the country for 6 hours. 6. And already she had 4 red-haired admirers, none of whom were the red-haired man she was waiting for. Kagome swore to herself that she would never come back to England. (Almost crack, but not quite.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Bat in a Pumpkin Field

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, let’s address the first thing. I am doing a Halloween one-shot in the middle of April. Yes, I know, but I don’t care.  
> I had the urge to do something like this after reading both IY/HP crossovers and IY/OHHC crossovers.  
> Don’t ask why Halloween.   
> It just sort of came to me. Or it could just be the fact that I wanted to have a cool title and bats and pumpkins are definitely Halloween.  
> I’m pretty sure that’s the reason.  
> Oh, and by the way, they all speak English. It’s just easier.  
> …  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own anything.  
> …

            Kaoru looked over at his brother, who was looking at the crowd in front of them with slight disgust and boredom.

            He smirked lightly. “If you don’t want to ride the subway, we can always call a car and tell Haruhi that you chickened out.”

            Hikaru looked at his twin, his face lightly flushed. “I’m not chickening out, there’s just… so many commoners.”

            Kaoru nodded his head in agreement and wrinkled his nose. There were a lot of them. “Maybe it’s just England. We could travel somewhere else and try it out. We didn’t really have to choose here.”

            Hikaru shrugged and Kaoru sighed. He really didn’t understand why they had decided to skip school and go to England in the first place. Hikaru had randomly decided to, on a whim, travel to England and ride a subway after Haruhi had said something about him not being a man. Kaoru wasn’t sure what riding a subway, or England, had to do with his twin’s manhood, but he was willing to go along with it.

            Just when Kaoru was about to suggest that they simply go home and tell Haruhi that they had done it –it wasn’t as if they hadn’t lied before– he caught sight of something that had his mind come crashing to a halt.

            Standing a handful of meters away was, by far, the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, and he had seen a lot of beautiful girls. None of them had affected him, but this one, she was something else.

            Nudging his twin in the side, he spoke. “Hikaru. Look over there.”

            Hikaru frowned. “What is it, Kar-“

            Hikaru’s mouth dropped open as he stared blatantly at the girl.

            He turned to his twin with a gleam in his eye.

            “Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Kaoru?”

            Kaoru smiled. “It would be nice to have a guide, Hikaru.”

            The twins gave each other identical grins, like two red-haired Cheshire cats.

**…**

            A tall, lanky red-haired man sighed. “I really hate muggle systems. Remind me again why we’re here, George.”

            George, the spitting image of the man who had just spoken, grinned. “We have to check on the shop, and all the floo systems and port keys are down, and you remember what happened the last time we apparated to the front of the shop, don’t you, Fred?”

            A mischievous grin appeared on Fred’s face. “Aye, I do, George. Still, do you know how to get around this place?”

            “No, but we have to get to the shop soon. We’ve got to work on our new product for Halloween. It’s coming up soon, you know? Maybe we should find a guide.”

            “But they’re all muggles. It’d be weird, don’t you think?”

            George nodded in agreement. “Yeah, but we still-“

            He suddenly stopped talking, causing his twin to look at him worriedly. “George? Are you all right, mate?”

            George didn’t respond. Instead he kept looking at something in the distance, completely slack-jawed.

            Fred followed his brother’s gaze and his eyes widened. “Blimey!”

            George looked over at Fred. “Yeah. She’s stunning. Don’t you think?”

            “Definitely.”

            The twins shared a look.

            Fred shrugged. “I don’t suppose it matters if she’s a muggle or not, does it?”

            “Not really, Fred.”

            “Shall we, George?”

            “Let’s.”

**…**

            A black-haired, blue-eyed, gorgeous teenage girl was standing in the middle of a crowd at a subway station. She let out a breath before pouting and crossing her arms.

            Rolling her eyes, she let a small smile come to her face. She was excited to see her son for the first time in 8 months, though she was sure that he should have been more excited than she was, seeing as this was to be his first time seeing her in 500 years.

            She let out a small squeal.

            It had 8 months since she had made her last trip into the past. She had come out on her 16th  birthday, rather ironic in her mind, after the final battle with Naraku. The jewel had disappeared, Naraku had been killed, and everything had been resolved. She had been pulled into the future permanently, but before she had the chance to mourn, Sesshomaru had made an appearance, as lofty and icy as ever, and demanded that she come with him.

            For 8 months he had trained her ruthlessly, and given her a plethora of tutors to help her catch up on her studies. Finally, after she had achieved adequacy –whatever that was– Sesshomaru had allowed her to travel to see her son, who had been banned from coming to visit her. He had apparently relocated to England a century or two ago; about the time he had married and mated Rin. Together, they had given her a total of 6 grandchildren, who had given her more great-grandchildren than she knew what to do with.

            She was going to visit them, and right on time too. Apparently, with all of his illusions, Shippo threw the best Halloween parties. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that, but she knew if she saw Naraku, she was going to kick her son’s butt and then ground him so hard, he’s start wishing that he had been sat instead.

            Kagome giggled as she nodded to herself. Suddenly, she stopped as she felt two pairs of linked auras converging on her. One pair was completely human, but the other was human with a tinge of something she couldn’t place. Not youkai, but…

            Kagome blinked. What were the people that Sesshomaru had introduced to her? Wizards? Odd humans with magical powers.

            Kagome shivered. She didn’t have anything against them, but their magic wasn’t like holy power, or even fox magic. It sort of freaked her out.

            Kagome shrugged before deciding that she needed to take evasive action. It wouldn’t do for her to be kidnapped. What would Shippo say?

            Nodding to herself, she weaved her way through the crowd and was, for once, glad that Sesshomaru enjoyed sending spies to tail her whenever she left the dojo.

            He really knew his stuff. Kagome swore she would never question him again, though she knew once she got back to Japan, her mental promise would last for 5 minutes, if that.

            Kagome looked around and swiftly decided to get to an open space. She was going to confront them. It was a stupid thing to do, but honestly, she was feeling testy, and she had taken to beating people up to relieve her stress. She had been picking up bad habits from Sesshomaru.

            She narrowly avoided bumping into someone, before she made it out of the subway station and into a park that was nearby.

            Then, she waited.

            It didn’t take long. Soon, four people entered the park and her mouth dropped open at the sight.

            She was seeing double, twice. And there was way too much orange, none of that orange being the particular shade she would have died from happiness to see.

            She cursed her son for his apparent affinity for British accents and lingo.

            Kagome broke the silence. “Hi there!”

            She was ignored as the two sets of twins looked at each other.

            Quickly recognizing the situation for what it was, Kagome’s mouth dropped open.

She couldn’t believe it.

She had been in the country for 6 hours and, apparently, she had already attracted herself two sets of twin admirers, who had followed her out of the subway station and were now sizing each other up.

Her eyebrow twitched. She had seen enough posturing in the Feudal Era. Just when she was about to yell at the top of her lungs that she wasn’t an inanimate object for them to fight over, one pair of twins, the definitively younger pair, turned around and began walking towards her. She idly wondered if they had won the size up as they approached her.

The one with wilder aura smirked and winked at her, before coming to a stop in front of her, his twin beside him. They both bowed lowly.

“My name is Hikaru.”

“I’m Kaoru.”

Kagome blinked and looked past them to the other set. Upon catching their eyes, they grinned and walked up to her too.

“Fred,” the orange-er one said.

“George,” said the redder one.

Kagome almost face-palmed. She should have known not to encourage them with eye contact.

When she opened her mouth, however, Hikaru cut her off.

“Can’t you two see she doesn’t want you around?”

“Yeah. She obviously doesn’t go for common losers.”

The F&G set, as Kagome had dubbed them, merely smirked.

“We can guarantee that you guys are most definitely the common losers,” they said simultaneously.

Kagome blinked, and faded away into her own world as they argued. She was wondering if it was a twin thing, the way every single syllable had come out of the F&G set’s mouth at the same time. It was sort of creepy, but very cool. She wouldn’t mind having a twin. If Kikyo hadn’t died over 550 years ago –not counting the revivals and the other deaths– Kagome would have totally loved to do the whole twin thing with her.

“Eep!”

Kagome shrieked as she was abruptly brought out of her musings when four pairs of arms wrapped themselves around different parts of her body.

She made multiple squeaking sounds as she looked to her left. Hikaru had his arms wrapped around her waist, and Kaoru was on his knees hugging her leg.

On her right, Fred was holding onto her arm and George was holding her waist with his arms above Hikaru’s, uncomfortably close to a certain, special region on her upper body.

Kagome squealed. “What is going on here?”

They ignored her.

The F&G set were yelling at the H&K set saying something along the lines of, “She’s our guide. We saw her first.”

The H&K set responded with, “No, we saw her first. Besides, she’s our toy, and a toy takes precedence over a guide.”

Kagome squeaked a bit more.

Then, a separate voice, louder than all the rest, sounded as another red haired man burst into the park.

“Hey, Mo-“

There was absolute silence.

            Then Kagome whimpered.

            The newcomer busted up laughing. “Oh, man! This is classic you, isn’t it? Though this is kind of freaky.”

            “Shut up!” Kagome cried.

            “Who are you?” one of the H&K set twins asked; Kagome couldn’t tell which one, because she was still frozen in place.

            Shippo grinned at the boy. “Family,” he said simply, before he began laughing again. Trust his mother to get herself accosted by two sets of twins at the same time and have them fight over her, before she had even been in the country for a whole day.

            “Should I come back later?” he asked, knowing it would rile her up, but not able to resist.

            “Shippo!”

            He chuckled. “You know what? I think I will. I don’t mind coming to pick you up later. Naraku can wait after all.”

            He watched as her eye twitched. He had a feeling she wasn’t too pleased with his favorite Halloween scare tactic. The illusions always worked wonders with the kids, though. His mother was too grown up for her own good.

            “Bye! See ya! Hey, you four! Make sure you keep her to yourselves. Especially if you see any more redheads. I’m starting to think that she might be cursed. I mean, come on,” he directed his last comment at his mother, who was positively red herself.

            With that, Shippo walked out of the park, leaving his stunned mother in the grasp of four strange males. Literally.

            Kagome lost it.

“LET GO OF ME!!!!!”

She was promptly ignored as the men holding her went back to arguing amongst themselves.

Kagome sighed.

Why had she let Sesshomaru convince her to go to England to visit her son during Halloween? She should have at least waited a few days.

There were always bats to be found in pumpkin patches during the holiday, after all. Sesshomaru knew that. He knew everything.

Narrowing her eyes, Kagome decided that as soon as she got out of her living, breathing, human binds, she would plot her adopted brother/mentor’s demise.

And then she would go back to Japan, light his office on fire, and take a bubble bath.

“I hate Halloween,” she moaned to herself.

**Author's Note:**

> …  
> That was stupid, with no point and even less plot.  
> But, I think this expresses everyone’s view of Halloween to a T, even if it is April.  
> I mean, who doesn’t hate Halloween, especially when you’re trapped on either side by two sets of red haired twins in England?  
> Exactly.  
> (…)  
> Sarcasm is one of my favorite literary devices.  
> T.N.T!


End file.
